Recycle those bad habits!
“People behave sometimes as if they have two selves, one who wants clean lungs and long life and another who wants dessert, or one who wants to improve himself by reading The Public Interest and another who would rather watch an old movie on television. The two are in continual contest for control.”
~ Thomas Schelling
I came across Thomas Schelling’s 1980 essay, “The intimate contest for self-command” some time ago. I found the title itself and the articulation of the challenge really interesting. To reiterate, it can be as though we have two “selves” constantly at battle for control of our will. Personally, I have often wondered why I cannot simply do the more sensible, rewarding thing. Such a battle between “the selves” can be so exhausting and demoralizing.
Beyond Schelling’s lyrical title and description of the problem, I will admit I found his list of tactics of limited value. Schelling approaches this problem like an economist where the perfectly rational being reigns supreme. Further, he employs tactics of a master game theoretician, like publicly committing oneself in some way, to try to solve this conundrum. One area I felt I could build on was Schelling’s points on overcoming habits. The type of habits embodied by the “good” self and the “bad” self are what characterize the very contest that Schelling describes. However, I believe that if instead of overcoming habits we actually replace habits we will be a lot more successful.
I came to the idea of replacing habits by reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. I think it is quite common to contemplate overcoming bad habits by “white knuckling” it or by pure force of will. Duhigg suggests that not only is this not the best way, but it might not even be possible. The following quote was both intriguing and sobering to me:
“Habits never really disappear. They’re encoded into the structures of our brain, and that’s a huge advantage for us, because it would be awful if we had to relearn how to drive after every vacation. The problem is that your brain can’t tell the difference between bad and good habits, and so if you have a bad one, it’s always lurking there, waiting for the right cues and rewards.”
So, avoiding bad habits altogether seems like a worthwhile goal. However, once created, a bad habit is with us forever. What, then, are we to do? Thankfully, Duhigg has a solution. However, to understand that solution, one must understand the component parts of a habit. The component parts are: 1) a cue, 2) a routine, and 3) a reward. The force that makes those three parts work together is a craving, or something to drive the behavior.
Duhigg’s solution is to take a habit and replace the routine with something positive in place of something negative. So, perhaps after the kids are in bed, I experience a cue to indulge in some junk food. If I do indulge repeatedly, I now have a routine that follows the cue of the kids getting into bed for the night. The reward, perhaps, is a modicum of pleasure to accompany the peace. Over time, this process solidifies and a craving is established. Also, over time my health deteriorates. Duhigg’s method would suggest that when I experience the cue of getting the kids in bed, that I then put in place a new routine, like doing twenty minutes of kettle bells. Then, the reward is the pleasure I feel by getting a nice workout (endorphins and all) and knowing that I am improving my health. I will admit, however, the infuriating thing is that it is so much easier to do the negative routine. That said, I have had some success developing a craving for good activities. I have gotten so used to doing my daily French lesson on Duolingo that I do have something resembling a craving to keep my streak alive.
To summarize, Duhigg provides a “golden rule of habits,” which is as follows: “You can’t extinguish a bad habit, you can only change it.” I think this is an interesting potential solution to the conundrum that Schelling poses in his essay. Instead of fighting a habit, use it to your advantage. It is akin to using judo (using one’s opponent’s strength against them) in your “contest for self-command.” We can use the strength of the negative habit against itself!
In conclusion, as we end this year and start to contemplate what changes we might like to effect in our lives, it is my hope that you and I can take a new tack in the contest for self-command. For example, instead of saying I am going to achieve a certain weight and body fat percentage by sheer force of will, I am going to look at the habits that get me there and see what ugly, old habits I have lying around that I can recycle for good in my life. If nothing else, it will be an intriguing experiment.